yuh yuh yuh

it's amazing how god sends you certain things, and words to help you out when you really need it. These past few weeks have been so unbearably bad. you have know idea. everything has gone wrong...everything, and i can't catch a break. I feel so lost. im okay when im with my friends, but the second im alone i cant help but feel miserable. please pray for me, i need it more than ever.

"Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can’t do this my own
I’m letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I’m on"

Jesus, Take the Wheel, Carrie Underwood.

^ this song has really helped the past few days...god really put this on my heart and sent this song to me. came on a radio station i never listen to that i randomly put on. i just started crying becasue i knew exactly why it happened.

Rachel...you know exactly how i feel, ive sent you a message about it, so im not going to write it on here. but. thank you. i really am so thankful for you..no matter what, i will ALWAYS be there for you.

<3 Rach

how do you deal with a close friend of your dying? please someone help me out here because i'm having a really hard time. got woke up this morning at 6 o'clock with a call saying that my friend had been killed in a car accident. so, im not gonna see her anymore? she's not going to answer when i want to call her?  that's so hard for me to understand...

please keep the Trotter Family in your prayers

:::EDIT EDIT EDIT:::

It's the next morning, and it's been a lot harder to deal with this than i thought. I keep thinking of all the good times we've had, and how we can't have them anymore, and im not willing to accept that. im glad the last thing we said to each other was an "i love ya girl". Brittney had the ability to make everything better, i knew her from Sonic(the wrost job...ever) and i looked forward to working with her. we goofed off so much, and she made the job a lot easier to enjoy.  to all of my friends, please know that i love you, and some of you i can't imagine life without you. the next time you make the decision to speed, not buckle up, have a few drinks and drive home, street race, etc..remember brittney and how badly her death is affecting everyone who knew her well and make the better choice. i don't think we can afford to lose another one so dear to us. i love you all!

<3 Rach

hey guys! how is everyone? hope all is well...not much goin on here. looking for a job, hanging out. you know..the usual. i love my friends! thanks for, you know, being my friends. haha! here's a picture.

 this picture is worth a thousand words.

<3 Rach

VVVVV The best conversation I've EVER had!!!!!! VVVVVV

IamRachelBrown: oh my gos.
IamRachelBrown: god*
MoulinDuke: god is here
IamRachelBrown: haha
MoulinDuke: what's the problem
IamRachelBrown: im pregnant
IamRachelBrown: i dont know what to do
MoulinDuke: insert another quarter in the god machine if you're serious
IamRachelBrown: im dead serious
IamRachelBrown: ill even give you 50 cents
MoulinDuke: you're kidding
IamRachelBrown: no....andy. im really not. you're the only person ive told...i really don't know what to do
IamRachelBrown: there are some things i havent told you.
IamRachelBrown: remember that guy i was telling you about?
IamRachelBrown: the reason i was so upset is because we...you know. and not im pregnant
IamRachelBrown: what do i do?
MoulinDuke: wow
MoulinDuke: sorry i didn't take you seriously at first, that's pretty real
IamRachelBrown: it's ok...im so. i dont know what to do
IamRachelBrown: i can't tell my parents
MoulinDuke: did you do a test?
IamRachelBrown: i can't
IamRachelBrown: yeah, i did a few of them
MoulinDuke: how long ago was it
IamRachelBrown: was what?
MoulinDuke: the sex
IamRachelBrown: wqhen i had sex or when i found out
IamRachelBrown: 3 or 4 weeks ago
IamRachelBrown: i just don't know what to do...andy, no one else can know
IamRachelBrown: if i told anyone, they'd shoot me
MoulinDuke: i know and you have my trust
IamRachelBrown: what do i do?
MoulinDuke: no one's going to shoot you
MoulinDuke: does he know?
IamRachelBrown: i haven't talked to him
MoulinDuke: how many tests did you do?
IamRachelBrown: 3
IamRachelBrown: different brands
MoulinDuke: i'm not sure what the next step would be other than seeing a doctor
MoulinDuke: to verify
IamRachelBrown: no...i mean, what do i do. i can't be pregnant.
IamRachelBrown: i CANT
MoulinDuke: did you use condoms?
MoulinDuke: the pill?
IamRachelBrown: not the pill, and..
IamRachelBrown: i was really drunk, and there weren't any condoms around
IamRachelBrown: im such an idiot.
MoulinDuke: it's okay
MoulinDuke: don't say that
IamRachelBrown: the first time. FIRST TIME!
IamRachelBrown: how does this happen to someone like me??
MoulinDuke: the important thing is to stay calm
MoulinDuke: don't victimize yourself
IamRachelBrown: andy.
IamRachelBrown: do you really think i would tell you something like this OVER AIM?!?!?!?!
IamRachelBrown: i would call you or come knocking on your door
IamRachelBrown: and yes, you'd be the like first person i'd go to
IamRachelBrown: BUT NOT ON AIM!
MoulinDuke: ...
IamRachelBrown: im not pregnent
MoulinDuke: you fucking whore
IamRachelBrown: nant*
IamRachelBrown: haha!!!
MoulinDuke: haha
MoulinDuke: you had me
IamRachelBrown: love you!
IamRachelBrown: haha
MoulinDuke: you so had me
IamRachelBrown: i know
IamRachelBrown: and it was glorious
MoulinDuke: and here i am trying to be a friend and tell you to keep a level head
MoulinDuke: fuuuuuuck you
MoulinDuke: oh man
MoulinDuke: it's not even april 1st
IamRachelBrown: will you be my baby daddy?
IamRachelBrown: haha!!
MoulinDuke: you so had me
MoulinDuke: i was scared shitless
IamRachelBrown: awh
MoulinDuke: i was like holy fuck
IamRachelBrown: your such a good friend
MoulinDuke: hahahahaha
IamRachelBrown: i was gonna keep it going, but i just felt so bad for you
IamRachelBrown: haha
MoulinDuke: "i was really drunk and there were no condoms around"
IamRachelBrown: what do you think of me andy?!?!
MoulinDuke: that garnered so much sympathy from me
IamRachelBrown: do you really think im that 1. slutty 2. irresponsible
IamRachelBrown: and i appreciate it
IamRachelBrown: we are laughing at your expense
IamRachelBrown: LOVE YOU!
IamRachelBrown: haha
MoulinDuke: fuuuck all of you
MoulinDuke: sheeeeeeeeeeeeit
MoulinDuke: so you're really not pregnant?

I need some love, leave me some.

*****EDIT EDIT EDIT*****

Either I attract the wrong type of boys, or they are ALL jerks.

either way, I'm getting screwed. (in a bad way)

HAPPPY NEW YEARS!!!! Hope everyone had a wonderful night...i sure did. Rachel, Mandy, KC,  Sara, Brad, and I went to a place called Traildust in Arlington, it's right by Six Flags, and we ate there/danced/slided/had a good time..after that we jsut kinda hung out. we freaking missed the countdown.

-Mandy "someone should check the time"

-Me "oh, its 12:04...happy new year!"

haha! here are some peektures!

 Rach and I

 The 3 Amigas.

 Me n U Mandy

 random picture of our legs...

 Rach, Mandy, Brad

 me and brad

 the exorcism of emily rose

 our "we're innocent" picture...ppppffftttt

 sleepy

 ow owwww

 KC and Sara

 Rach, KC, and Sara

 yuh

 we don't even know.

 my "eff it" face

 the morning after.

 Rach and KC

 Rachel's "eff it" face

comments are delightful later darlings.

<3 Rach